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all seeing all knowing...
2005-03-26 // 2:10 a.m.
Ugh. Shit is useless. People are useless. I go through a day of useless people making useless threats, calling cops writing statements all this for work- I come home and an arguement where I'm trying to seek out if he's pushing any facts- which he says it's about "he'd be surprised" no mention of fact and he's so butthurt that I'm not willing to accept sweeping generalizations on "he'll be surprised" he gets mad enough to storm out of the room and 5 minutes later out of the apartment to go to work at 2am. I'm so unbelievably frustrated that every time everything has to be degraded down to if he's not right- or if we don't have evidence to either of us being right, that if I don't say he's right he storms out.
Why the fuck does everyone have to obsess with being right? Why isn't it okay to say "hey I don't know everything about society in the 1100s" and let it the fuck go instead of "if I'm wrong on my assumptions that'd be really fucking wierd" and "fine I can't even talk to you" sort of shit.
I'd rather shoot myself in a soft spot in my skull than live life as it's being lived now. It seems like such a joke because I always have to step down not both people step down or even go look for answers no no- I'm wrong because I'm not you. Just for once I'd like being wrong to be something more concrete than because someone said so. Or just once it'd be cool for someone to admit their wrong or that they don't know. It's so retarded.
We are all so damn retarded duping ourselves into believing we are the all seeing all knowing all percieving don't miss a damn thing miracle children that can save the world.
If we don't give this up, God help us all. Specifically I ask God help me to not abandon it all. The small flame of hope is now just an ember and it's starting to rain...