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a month later
2004-06-06 // 1:13 a.m.
So it's been forever... it's been like a month since I heard from Tonya and that ain't cool.
So what's happened in the last month?
School got out. I have 2 semesters to go until my BA. Just 7 more classes and a prayer. Yea.
I'm working at multiple GameStops and loving it. Next weekend is my last week in the Yuba City GameStop. It's kind of sad- but aside from the managers and Marco there is no one to miss, and Marco is my friend I'll see him around, and hopefully when J gets back then Josh will come visit Chico now and then.
That leaves Sara and Tina. Dunno whats up with that, I guess I'll have to come visit the store every once in awhile. They are on to hiring replacements- it'll probably be better for the store too when they have someone with more flexible hours than mine.
Adam is leaving for a vacation thing with his mom, he'll be gone for 5 days. In those 5 days I can expect to be horribly bored and lonely, and have one hell of a time getting to my jobsite in Chico. And I'll have to hope that we don't get an interview with Hignel until after he comes back.
Oh, about that.
Me and Adam have been trying to get into property management. We did not get the one with Action, so we are on to Hignel. They want a team, and he's got the general maintainance and I have the sort of office skills they want- so does he minus the whole spelling thing ;)
Anyway there is a very cute apartment complex with an opening we are dying to get. I hope it works out!
Thats the other thing- we are probably going to move in together regardless of whether or not we get the job. We are together all the time anyway, so it's kind of silly for us to have 2 places- besides that I really want to be around him. Things are really good there, in so many ways I do not think I've ever smiled as much as I do when I'm with him. We can be the biggest dorks and it's not something where we look down on each other- it's fun and that's all that there is to it. The other day I demanded a hug and he ran up and snatched me up and spun me around- and it scared me half to death, but all that the same time I was aware that I trusted him and that I was happy... it's very much a roller coaster (at a high quality safe park!)- parts of it scare me but it's always fun.
On top of that its just been really great- I really like his parents they are cute- I'm always nervous I'm going to do something to make them not like me but more and more I'm thinking that's just me being silly- but I do want them to think I'm nice and worthy of their son's attention. I guess his mom wants to get to know me better which is really cool, by the same note when I am around sometimes I'm at a loss for things to talk about. But again, thats me being wierd I'm sure. It's sort of hard for me to talk to people who have hobbies since I really don't have any. Although I assume I could talk to his sister about books :)
What else what else... I went to Fanime. The showings we went to were not very good which was sad, I was looking forward to the showings. The Dealers room was cool. Me and Adam spent quite a bit of time away from the con, which was cool- 4 days of it was just too much. As J. put it, I haven't ventured that far into the nerd forest yet. I really enjoy SOME anime, but some of the other people that watch it annoy the crap out of me and talked through showings- if I ever am watching anime again and someone yells "you got served" after a fight, I will have someones head. I mean that. Then there was the national tragedy skank-a-rific female element that frustrates the hell out of me. Mostly because I see a couple girls undoing all the good that womens movements do, keeping us objects of sexual objectification and downplaying the importance of a mind- making us pretty objects with which to get off on and nothing more- because of women like those we remain the hands of perverted men in their bedrooms, we remain a plush pink masterbation toy, we are the quoted "other toy with a DD cup". Its an endless sense of frustration to me because I think women can be intelligent, beautiful and sensual all together, and these girls just keep us at the quality of pretty objects and inflatable dolls.
Which is so frustrating because part of the thing that pulled me to anime in the first place was the sense that their female characters often times were strong, intelligent and beautiful, that you could be sexy and intelligent and strong all in one package...
and yet many of the girls that the convention were at levels far worse than cheerleaders. Stand here minimally dressed and jump up and down while men stare. It's all your good for. I hate cheerleading. And I'm damn close to hating cosplayers because those few girls will ruin EVERYTHING. If I was ever to get involved in something like that, I would have picked out one of the most kick-ass intelligent girls in anime, because inevitably a female character in anime is going to be cute.
Man it's frustrating. So many cartoons so frequently draw the female character as a backup role and often times as a not very bright one. Think Smurfs with the one female imbecile, or Ducktales with the fat dumb maid lady and the evil chick- when I think back to cartoons I watched as a young person I cannot think of one female character worthy of role model status. Unless you desire to be a damsil in distress.
And then finally I find anime which has cool female characters...
and girls decide to glorify the most objectifying dumbass things. Off with their heads.
My moral conscious has been screaming lately. Loud and angry it's been screaming. I feel like if I have to deal with people outside my very small group I surround myself with that I'm drowning in stupidity and hopelessness.
So my safe environment is Adam, J., Marco, Josh, Sara, Tina, Kyle, Mike and Adam's parents, and Neuf.
That's right, 6 of them are coworkers, 3 of them I won't be seeking anymore because I'm leaving that jobsite. J is in Washington DC for the summer. So Adam, Marco who I rarely ever see, Kyle and Mike who are coworkers, Adam's parents and Neuf. I never see Tonya anymore which is frustrating because she served as a girl who doesn't fit the imbecile mode. Which is what is so great about Adam's mom she's a teacher and I get the feeling that she's probably got a strong moral concious toward the advancement of females. Adam's sister is working her ass off in school, I think she's going for college professor.
I guess that's what I loved about Nandi's class- not that the students had it going for them but Nandi was about it. Politically involved for the advancement of women and African Americans. Intelligent as hell. Such a rare quality. She kept me sane during my college classes. I really wanted to take her self and society class- but I can't. Crap crap crap.
Completely off topic but Nandi kicked ass. When she wanted to she was one of the prettiest women- at the same time she rides a motor cycle, worked in a men's maximum security prision, and now she's a college professor who is intelligent as hell and she hasn't just got comfy in her place in society, she is still politically active. And she came from a ghetto- she is one of the strongest examples of the capability of women in society so WHY THE HELL do we keep glorifying big-titted bad fake tan and bleached blond dumbasses like Jessica Simpson?!? If I ever have children who aspire to be like her I hope that someone realizes what a failure I've been and stabs me through the head with a pitchfork.
Okay... I'm telling my moral concious to calm down, most people don't want to listen to this rant I know. However it's important for me to work against these imbeciles and encourage others to also in hopes that there will be at least a slight change in society so it'll be a better place, at least somewhat so before I have kids dealing with this world. I want there to be decent female rolemodels when I have kids. I want for my future daughter(s) to have friends with good aspirations- not with aspirations to be able to girate like Britney Spears.
Ideally I will be rich soon so I can start working on social programs, if I can just get one community to be decent, so that I could raise daughters in a decent place that would give them the confidence to deal with the rest of the world... and not be overwhelmed by bitterness and depression like myself- then my goal is achieved. It would be nice to go further than that.
Ok I said I was going to stop, but if I talk about work or customers from the last month or so I'll be back on the rant, so I won't... well then...
goodnight.