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Rage
2004-05-13 // 10:53 p.m.
So today started good then it kind of sucked for like an hour then it got okay again.
My day started with an interview for Action Property Management. It seemed to go fairly well, I really hope I get the place. I should know by next week. WISH LUCK DAGNABIT! Talked to my new workplace, workin there again tommorrow night, that's all fine and dandy. Talked to Jarrell, he's pickin me up so thats all good and fun.
Relaxed at home. Yea didn't do shit. Awesome, much needed.
Then I went to Anime club. Watched the last episode of Angelic Layer. Cool. Watched more Naruto. Interesting- and weird.
Then we rush out of club. Me and Adam were both avoiding a certain host of people. We were damn near running, when one of those people spots us and yells "hey wait up, can I talk to you for a second". He decided to apologize for an incident earlier in the semester when he was shown to be an ass at a rally against hate crime, I'm sure I wrote about it, the guy who perpetuates problems by doing the whole "racism against the straight white male" shit. Yea him. Anyway, his apology is just an attempt to make us no longer mad about it, not because he actually changed his mind. So I was ready to just be like "what the fuck ever" eyeroll and walk off sort of thing- but Adam was very angry with him, with the entire thing, being as we'd told him to stay the hell away from both of us- so he yelled at him for a minute. He got really mad- so after he'd made his point I grabbed his arm and said "lets go". He was really pissed, and about a minute later a group of thug lookin wannabes (yea Chico thugs my ass) were walking down the street and did the whole quick step at you raise the arms like they are gonna start a fight, sort of right to the side of Adam, more towards me who was a bit behind him to allow them to get by on the sidewalk. So it was sort of lucky Adam didn't react fast enough, cuz they apparently just found it funny to make people nervous or whatever.
And I'm like "yea, that proves your a big man- stepping at a girl 1/3 your weight like that and she gets nervous, uh huh- if thats how you feel you have to prove you have a penis, but all you proved to me was that your a dick."
but all I said was "great another group of Chico assholes- what the fuck was that?"
So yea- thats all bad. Girls get assaulted on campus regularly and fuckers go around acting like that thinking its funny.
But if they did it to a girl who had been raped within the last week they would probably end up in a fucking mental institution over that.
I myself got a flashback to what happened when I was a 7th grader. I probably would have moved away like that if any man stepped at me like that- so if he thinks he's somehow special and intimidating he's just a horribly wrong ignorant as hell DUMBASS.
So I have spent the past few hours bordering on panic attack. I have enough stress right now with 3 jobs, the interview for the 4th job, finals and more than enough fuckers without strangers on the street jumping into the mix. GAH I HATE CHICO.
I have to say as much dislike as I had for Yuba City that sort of thing rarely occured there. My theory on why?
I think that the University system breeds a lot of dumbasses. I think when you bring together a bunch of people who think they know everything about everything and everyone and then force feed them certain values that are upheld in the university system, that they become self-righteous fuckers who believe that whatever makes them happy is what they should do- they never consider other people's toes they may be stepping on.
And this is my angry response. I honestly hope that the guy who did that has something happen to him so that he gets to learn what it's like to fear. To see people on the street and feel geniunely afraid that his ass is in peril. Whether that be learning what it's like to fear rape or assault- I sincerely hope he learns so that he NEVER tries to traumatize a girl again, as if we don't already have enough shit to deal with. There was an attempted rape on campus last week, but is there any guys who when walking on that campus at night actually fear being raped. Probably not. And I don't feel that anything will ever change until a guy knows what it's like to fear having his sexuality and body violently assaulted and stolen from him.
Okay I'm angry. I'll end here for tonight :P