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rambling
2004-03-21 // 1:10 a.m.
Hey guys-
Just finishing up a good Spring break. Yea I didn't do anything really just a lot of hanging out- relaxing. Didn't go to San Fran as planned, but I'm ok with that. I figure I would have been freezing my butt off anyway- maybe this summer or something.
Spent a lot of time with Adam, and quite a bit of time with J. As always, that is fun. I made a big dinner on St. Patricks day- fed like 7 ppl or something like that, I honestly am not even sure who came anymore, cuz the only ppl I invited was Adam and my roommate Max, although I would have invited J. and Chris anyway I think... there was a guy there I would not have likely invited but it's alright... it's only that he reminds me of someone else I know that is low on social skills that makes me feel the need to avoid him. I don't think this guy realizes that he comes off as a kind of "high horse" guy, and I seriously doubt that he intends to be so frustrating. Max and 2 of his friends also ate w/ us- these cute little Japanese girls that hang out at our place quite a bit now. They are funny, they seemed to really like the food and the daquiris I made after. Somewhere there will be a funny picture floating around of those girls, me and 3 stuffed pandas. I tried to avoid the picture but... you know how it is.
I haven't heard from Tonya in awhile, that worries me. Hopefully job corps called her up and she was able to go to that.
Things are mostly good- I've been kind of overstressed lately for some unknown reason. I just feel like I can't keep up, I'm tired all the time, I have a permenant headache or something. I don't sleep well. I want to remember what it feels like to just FEEL GOOD.
But yea, all the bad is stemming from some unknown source, there is really no reasoning for it.
But on a good note, me and Adam grabbed some Jamba Juice and went to Bidwell park, it was cool to just be able to walk around and talk, not have anything too important or distracting to be doing. We had probably the day prior gone out to eat lunch at the Italian Cottage, that was fun too- but not my point at all I'm just overtired and rambling.
It's just cool how things that distract me and make me seem like I'm way too old for my age not only don't bother him but he sort of does the same thing- overdistracted by kids being funny and things like that. It always used to bug me when I'd have say Shamber over and she'd have anna with her, and everyone would just sort of ignore her and the kid in favor of video games. Pet peeve I guess, but the kid is way more cool than the damn video game. Me, I like kids a lot and don't seem them nearly enough- so I get distracted by them pretty easily. It's funny because instead of being made to feel weird about it he usually just says "cute kid" after we leave- like it's obvious that he likes kids because he ends up smiling like everytime he sees one, which is cool.
I like that the group there in Chico is more grown, like they are realistic and headed in a direction that is more family oriented... lots of people are getting married, there is a guy in Mu that is married and has a really cute kid that he seems more than happy to take around with him- people seem happy. It's a little more hopeful that things were before with the stoners and the overall focus in life on video games. I just can't do that. I know I know, I work in a game store. But seriously all it's assured me is that I don't want to be one of those 40 yr olds with no family playing Everquest because I'll never have a real life.
Seriously I'm hoping to adopt kids and have something worthwhile to work for within a few years of graduating college- of course I want somet time to try and save up money and pay off debts, but I don't want to wait until my 30s to have a family around- thats not me. Everything is just reinforcing my whole "get rich in order to be able to stay at home with a family" scheme. To hell with anyone who says that staying at home isn't enough to do as a person- I'm educated, I'll have work under my belt but there is something to be said for educating kids and helping them be prepared for school and life...
So yea, basically I need to make lots of money early in order to put it in different places and make passive income enough to never have to do the daily grind ever again, so I can adopt a bunch of kids- and yea I look forward to all the insanity that would be coupled with that.
I'm gonna need a big house :)
I'm just hoping that I end up married to someone who wants a big family- okay not hoping, I won't marry anyone who doesn't want to do this, because it's been my intention my whole life. If I don't find someone like that, I'll do it myself. I'm hoping to own a lot of property in one area, I basically want to construct my own neighborhood in a way- I want to move my friends into the surrounding homes so that I know kids are safe in the area... a sort of "neighborhood to raise the child" area so the kids would not only have parents around to look up to but other people in the area too- seriously I want to be able to have kids involved in things they want to be, but under the guidance of people I know. The world just isn't trustworthy enough to do it another way.
I know, I sound crazy but I'm willing to bet that should this CRAZY IDEA work out that life will be a heck of a lot better-
but poor poor kids that I take in- will not be spending all day in the house, and when they are in the house it won't be for TV. Yea I'm probably gonna be one of those parents who directs their kids away from the TV at all times with the exception of movies and things that the whole family can enjoy- but hey, thats me. I'm intending to have a library in my house- kids that read WHEE. I loved to read when I was a kid and still do- and I probably liked it more than other people because I started to learn before I made it to kidnergarden, so it was easy for me when school mandated it. So I want to do that with my kids- so they will have an easier time than most people.